Sis, We’ve Always Been the Proof — Healing, Whole and Free

courageousaccess
Nov 6
4 min read

A woman wearing a cream baseball cap and hoop earrings gazes confidently, set against a warm beige background.

I just finished watching a PBS special about Emmett Till — and for the first time, I saw his cousin, his best friend, the young man who was with him that night in 1955. Seventy years later, he’s still carrying that moment in his bones.

And as he spoke, I felt it. That same helplessness that’s been passed down to us — generation after generation — just wearing different clothes.

It’s the helplessness of being brilliant and still overlooked.

Of working twice as hard and still being told we’re too much.

Of being mislabeled — Sapphire, Jezebel, Mammy — when all we’ve ever been is sacred, whole, and tired of surviving systems that were never meant for us.

But Sis, here’s what we know: we’ve never stayed helpless for long.

We build anyway.

We rise anyway.

We mother anyway.

We lead anyway.

The grief in our bodies is real, but so is the medicine in our spirits.

The Hidden Harm We Carry

At Courageous Access, we center healing in the whole sense — mind, body, and spirit.

Because before you ever had the words for it, harm was implanted.

It started in childhood, during your foundational learning — when you were trained to overperform, overgive, overfunction just to be safe or seen. That’s when the invisible writing was etched across your forehead — the kind that tells the world, “You can take from me and I’ll find a way to make peace with it.”

And generation after generation, people have read that script and used it — shaping their oppression, exploitation, and abuse to fit you like it was tailor-made.

But sis — that script was a lie.

Learning to Read What’s Been Written on You

Part of healing is learning to see what’s been invisible. To recognize the normalized forms of abuse — the ones so common they almost pass as love, loyalty, or leadership.

It’s understanding that harm doesn’t just happen in relationships — it happens in workplaces, in friend groups, in systems that depend on your silence. And it’s learning how to screen your experiences, to listen to what your body, your spirit, and your mind are telling you — accurately.

Because once you can name harm for what it is, you can start to choose safety — intentionally and unapologetically.

Setting Boundaries and Breaking Patterns

Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re mirrors. They reflect back to others the truth about who you are now — healed, aware, unwilling to shrink or be used.

At Courageous Access, we teach how to set those boundaries and, when necessary, how to break connections that refuse to respect them. Because sometimes the only way to stay whole is to walk away from what keeps breaking you.

And yes, that can feel lonely — until you realize the peace that comes with freedom is worth more than any relationship built on your silence.

The Path to Empowerment and Reparations

Here’s where the real shift happens: once you start healing, you begin to transform your trauma into reparations. Not just in the financial sense (though that matters), but in power, peace, and permission — the rewards owed to you for surviving what was meant to destroy you.

This is what empowerment looks like:

Understanding your worth before anyone else validates it.
Leading from self-love instead of survival.
Creating systems that serve you, your sisters, and the next generation differently.

Healing isn’t a one-time event. It’s a lifelong practice — a continuous rise, a cycle of reclamation. Each level of healing opens the door to the next, all powered by the truth that you are the proof.

You’ve Always Been the Proof

Every time a Black woman chooses to heal, she reclaims a piece of what this world owes her.

Every time she refuses to shrink, she restores a piece of her lineage.

Every time she builds again — this time on her terms — she turns her trauma into testimony.

We are not waiting for systems to save us anymore.

We are the system now.

We write our own destiny.

So Sis, wherever you are on your journey — whether you’ve named the harm or just feel it deep in your bones — know this: your body already holds the wisdom to heal. Your spirit already knows the way home.

And we’re here, walking beside you — helping you turn what hurt you into what heals you, and what heals you into what elevates you.

Because you’ve always been the proof.

And now, it’s time to live like it.

Your Next Step Toward Healing and Power

If you’re ready to begin your own reclamation — to meet yourself in your wholeness and learn how to turn your trauma into reparation — start here:

Choose Empowerment Through the Arts. We’re working with our sister organization, Courageous Fire, LLC, to open certification processes that any Black woman in any state can complete — duplicating the five-year, 80% success rate our participants have achieved in Iowa, Puerto Rico, Ohio, and New York. But if you can’t wait, you can walk through the journey meditatively and lovingly on your own with the Empowerment Through the Arts Workbook. Your reward? Permission — the freedom to prioritize your healing, your empowerment, and your next level of peace. Get your copy here.
Join Me Through My Story — The O.C. Series. If you want to see how I, as the founder of this movement, am still giving myself permission to center my needs and unearth hidden trauma while giving hope to others, start with my memoir This Is for the Other Child. And if you identify as an O.C., continue your journey with The O.C. Journal. Your reward? Reflection — the gift of seeing your truth mirrored back with compassion and clarity. Start your journey here:
- This Is for the Other Child
- The O.C. Journal